Reddit user FragmentedTungsten recently asked the AskReddit community, “What is the most out-of-pocket thing your doctor has said to you?” We shared some of the most jaw-dropping replies in a post, then received dozens of comments and submissions from BuzzFeed Community users who also had strange, uncomfortable encounters at the doctor.
Jobs in healthcare are often grueling, tiresome, and thankless. The bright, courageous folks carrying out those jobs are true heroes. That being said, there are still individuals within the field whose judgment is clouded by ego, biases, and other harmful factors. Here are some doctors who did not treat their patients with the consideration and care they absolutely should have:
1.“Years ago, I was having extreme pain during intercourse. I told my OB-GYN that my husband and I hadn’t had sexual relations in several months. His response was, ‘I’ll bet you’re horny.’ No, I’m in PAIN! Dropped him as my doctor immediately!”
—Anonymous
2.“My ex-husband and I went to the same doctor. I loved this doctor until the day he sent my husband home with a joke ‘prescription’ (actually written on his prescription pad) for me to cook more and have more sex. I was done with that doctor at that moment.”
3.“I went to see a new doctor because I was having mobility problems in both legs and couldn’t even bend them very far. The doctor immediately replied, ‘Really? Because I can do THIS!’ and proceeded to do a full rep of deep squats like she was in a workout video. Nice.”
—Anonymous
4.“I recently met with a neurosurgeon about options for a weird, complicated condition I have. I take handfuls of medication every day, and I would prefer not to; the drugs make me feel awful, and I have moderate kidney impairment. The doctor looked at me and said, ‘So, you take a lot of medicine? Big deal. You’ll probably have to take a lot more medicine. You’re working outside the home, and you’re living your life. What more do you want?’ I sat in stunned silence as he walked out.”
5.“I was 19 and experiencing some issues with my period. While at the appointment, I asked about getting a pap smear as I hadn’t ever had one. The doctor said, ‘Fat girls don’t need pap smears.'”
—Anonymous
6.“I was seeing a psychiatrist for depression and anxiety. She had a really fancy office right in downtown Chicago, so I figured she was good at what she did. During one of my sessions, she turned her computer around and started showing me pictures of her vacation home’s interior. I was literally paying for her to show me pictures of her vacation home on her laptop.”
—Anonymous
7.“I was trying to get my tubes tied at 26. I had already had one child and knew I didn’t want any more. I was also divorced. After expounding on the possible side effects of the surgery, the OB-GYN (a guy who was too old to be practicing) said patronizingly, ‘You do realize that this surgery will SIGNIFICANTLY reduce your chances of ever finding a husband again.'”
—Anonymous
8.“The male gynecologist who put in my second IUD gave the string what he called ‘the husband snip’ and cut it extra short. I had to get a specialist to remove it with some special tools when I later went to replace it, and she said she had never seen a string cut that short before.”
—Anonymous
9.“When I was 19 (in the year 2000), I went to see my GP for (what I now know to be) anxiety and panic attacks. She gave me a church pamphlet and recommended I find God. I was having such bad panic attacks I ended up dropping out of university, and it took a couple of years for me to go back. My mental health issues went undiagnosed for another five years and untreated for more than a decade as a result. Thankfully, the approach to mental health has significantly changed since then!”
—Anonymous
10.“I took my dad to the GP because he was showing signs of dementia. She asked him to touch his toes (which he did, as he was physically fit), then said, ‘I bet you can’t do that. He’s fine.’ The second opinion we got was vascular dementia, which he died from.”
11.“My mother was pregnant with me when she saw a different OB-GYN, as is standard when you’re early into your pregnancy. This man said to her, while she was with my sister, who was 2 at the time, ‘Most husbands prefer a tight vagina.’ My mother called and demanded not to see him again. She only saw another OB-GYN the day I was born.”
—Anonymous
12.“Several months after a partial knee replacement (with very little pain and a fast recovery), I started having serious pain on the other side of the same knee. I went back to the surgeon, who took an X-ray and, after a brief exam, told me, ‘Well, the scar looks great. The cement is still holding the replacement. Some people just feel more pain than others. Suck it up.’ After many weeks of awful pain, I got into a new doctor who took an MRI and told me I’d torn my meniscus on the other side of the knee, probably from PT!! Yay! More surgery!!”
—Anonymous
13.“I was getting a breast exam, and while he was in the middle of the exam, he asked, ‘Are you one of Hugh’s girls?’ referring to Hugh Hefner. I never went back to that doctor.”
—Anonymous
14.“I went to get a referral to therapy/a psychologist to go on anti-depressants/anti-anxiety meds after being bullied at work for four years. The doctor said, ‘Go for a walk, drink some water, get a good night’s sleep, and come back to me next week. You’re just having a bad day.’ I returned the next week, and he asked, ‘Why are you here?’ I reminded him of the previous week’s appointment, and he responded, ‘You don’t look depressed or anxious.’ I was sitting in his office crying and shaking from a panic attack. I left the appointment and requested an appointment with another doctor immediately. My new doctor gave me recommendations for three therapists and prescribed an SSRI.”
—Anonymous
15.“It was one of my first-ever gynecological exams. The male doctor walked in, told me to get in the stirrups, and said emphatically, ‘Best one I’ve seen all day.’ I now have a female gyno.”
—Anonymous
16.“While delivering my first (nine-pound) baby, the hospitalist OB tried to use suction and then had to use forceps to deliver. I did not have an epidural. The forceps damaged my insides, and I bled a lot — so much that she very casually stated, ‘Wow. I’ve never had to call someone in to mop up blood off the floor before the baby’s even out!’ She said that with the forceps still inside me. Then, when the baby was out and I was getting stitched up, my husband asked how many stitches she’d done, and she replied, ‘Oh, I dunno. I lost count.'”
17.“I was recently diagnosed with cancer in my kidney. This was totally unexpected, so I was still processing it and my treatment options with the doctor assigned to me in the hospital. Throughout a few visits, I asked the doctor the same question twice to make sure I understood what she said. Her response: ‘You already asked me that before. I think the cancer may have gone to your brain.’ She also told me I had six months to live, would not discuss any treatment options other than what she wanted, and discouraged a second opinion. I changed healthcare systems, am delighted with my current oncologist, and am doing well seven months after the first doctor said I should be dead.”
—Anonymous
18.“I had just had an endoscopy and was told to eat only soft food the rest of the day. I told the doctor, ‘Yay, chocolate pudding and milkshakes!’ He replied, ‘No, if you eat that stuff, you’ll get fat, and your husband won’t want to have sex with you anymore.’ WTAF?”
—Anonymous
19.“During my first marriage, we were trying to get pregnant, and I had several miscarriages. I also had hyperemesis gravidarum each time and would be throwing up continuously for several weeks, with no real solutions beyond repeated admissions for fluids. Discussing the need for yet another D&C for another miscarriage, my OB at the time looked me in the eye and said, ‘I’m thinking you don’t really want to be pregnant.’ Never saw him again.”
—Anonymous
20.“When I was 15, I began feeling a lot of seemingly random pain in my joints and arms. Our family doctor suspected fibromyalgia and directed me to a neurologist. The man was extremely dry and barely looked at me while conducting a bunch of strength and movement tests, but I didn’t care. I just wanted him to make the pain stop. He finished the tests, sat behind his desk, looked at my mom, and said: ‘Where’s this girl’s father?’ My mom said: ‘We’ve been divorced since she was a baby.’ Then the doctor said: ‘This is not a health problem. She’s just missing her father.'”
“My mom and I were speechless. We left his office and never came back. Even our family doctor got very angry on our behalf. You don’t dismiss a patient’s pain without a more thorough investigation. Even if he asked all the right questions about my life and decided I had mental health issues related to my family situation, he should have referred me to see a therapist and maybe a psychiatrist. That’s what the family medicine doctor said. More than a decade later, I was diagnosed with autism, and I was told the chronic pain was related to the neurological differences in my brain. The autism diagnosis is also something that the neurologist missed because he didn’t do a proper investigation.”
—inog
21.“Many years ago, I went to see a new gyno. I was working overnights at the time. The day prior, I woke up early and had a busy day. I couldn’t take a nap before my shift that night, and my appointment was a few hours after my shift ended, so I was awake for about 30 hours when I went in. Of course, I was dog-tired and just trying to get through the exam to go home and sleep. Homeboy had the audacity to tell me, ‘You seem like you have a ‘blah’ personality.’ Excuse me? I was trying not to fall asleep on this table. I wasn’t there for conversation. Then, when I tried to talk to him about an issue I was having, he said he wasn’t even going to address it until I quit smoking. Needless to say, that was the only time I saw him.”
22.“‘You do realize postnatal depression isn’t actually real? It’s normal for women to be a bit tired.’ I reported the guy HARD!!!”
23.“When I went to the OB-GYN for an IUD replacement, the doc asked if I have children; I said I’m childfree. Then, he tried to convince me to get pregnant because, in his words, ‘bearing children is a woman’s fate.’ He had already taken my IUD out of my uterus but waited a sweet while until I stood firm with my childfree stance to put the new one in.”
24.And: “I had one OB-GYN who asked me who I was voting for in the middle of a pap smear (this was 2016). The same guy also asked me to show my Apple watch to the medical student observing my appointment during my breast exam. He also said it was surprising someone like me (??) wasn’t pregnant yet. I was 22 at the time. Needless to say, I have not been back.”
Have you ever had an uncomfortable or invalidating experience with a doctor? Tell us your story in the comments or submit it anonymously using this form.
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
