A woman writes on Reddit that she doesn’t want her in-laws to stay at her home for months at a time, though there’s a catch
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Happy grandparents holding their baby grandchild in a stock photo
A new mom says she won’t allow her in-laws to stay at the home she shares with her husband for months at a time — now, he’s telling her to move out.
In a post shared to Reddit, the anonymous woman writes that her husband’s parents “live overseas and they came to visit us when I had a baby.”
“I get that they were excited and wanted to see the baby however I wanted some privacy for recovery before having visitors just days after discharge from hospital, and asked my husband if they could come a few months later,” she continues. “We also had a live in nanny to help with the baby the first month or so. My husband said no they’re here to help me so they’re coming for 2 months.”
On their second trip, the in-laws visited for even longer, with the woman writing: “Husband informed me they’re coming and for longer than previously thought. No discussion with me. We had a huge fight before they arrived.”
Now, the in-laws are planning a third visit — and this time, the woman doesn’t want them staying with her family.
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But the husband doesn’t feel the same, which has ultimately led to an argument.
“We had the biggest fight,” she writes, adding that past issued bubbled up during the argument. “All the resentment I had poured out — his parents picked my induction date, our baby’s name had to be approved by them because some names sounded too similar to a relative therefore was not allowed (meanwhile his sister had a baby and used a combination of my name and my baby’s name), we weren’t allowed to set up our cot or car seat as it was ‘bad for the baby’ so I struggled in hospital while he did that after birth and then didn’t know how to loosen the straps to buckle baby in when we left the hospital.”
She continues: “I said that I was fine if they were wanting to visit for a week (which was what I was initially informed) but any longer then they can stay elsewhere (they can well afford an airbnb/hotel) and we can meet them daily for meals. Husband told me to take baby and move to my mum’s when they visit.”
Adding a wrinkle to the situation is the fact that the couple lives in a home owned by the in-laws.
“This house is theirs and they gave it to him. Before we got married I made it clear I did not want to move in and wanted a place of our own. Husband told me that we’d get a place of our own and this was temporary then would make up all sorts of ridiculous reasons for why other homes weren’t suitable. Now he says he will never move and won’t compromise on the house,” she writes in the Reddit post.
Acknowledging that her home is technically her in-laws’ home, the woman is now asking the Internet to weigh in.
“I plan to move since I’ve been told to leave, and then not come back but my heart breaks for my baby,” she adds in the post.
One commenter suggested the woman try speaking to her in-laws, but added that her husband seems to be the one in the wrong.
“They sound utterly intrusive, and your husband should be standing up for you,” the commenter writes. “Staying for that amount of time is unreasonable. You need to be comfortable in your home.”
Others offered more direct advice: “OP, move and take the baby. Get court ordered custody. Do not let his parents see the child on your time. Get help from your parents. This isn’t a marriage.”
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