This Reality Show Has Officially Lost The Plot

To the surprise of some people in my life, I still watch “Basketball Wives.”

The franchise, which first launched in April 2010 with a Miami-based reality series, is obviously not the show it used to be. In recent years, some seasons have been better than others, thanks to the return of original cast members like Evelyn Lozada and alums like Brooke Bailey, and it’s held up better than the “Love & Hip Hop” franchise. (Though it breaks my heart to write that sentence as “Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta” used to be my balm.)

As I’m watching the second half of this season of “Basketball Wives,” I’m wondering if it might be time for the cast to start considering retirement plans. If a show has to go all the way back to 1987 for a storyline, is the trip worth it?

In the middle of the season, Lozada hired a private detective to investigate cast mate Jackie Christie, revealing to the other cast members that Christie was convicted of solicitation during the Reagan administration. If this is the kind of information that’s used as fodder for drama, the series clearly has a problem.

Lozada has her reasons for having renewed beef with Christie. As she explained, Christie insulted her daughter, Shaniece, and spread a vicious rumor related to her on national television, with Lozada bluntly summarizing, “180 days in prison for sucking dick, and you got the nerve to be talking about someone else’s life.”

I would be upset at someone insulting my child, too, so I understand the frustration.

Even so, what are we doing here? Christie was wrong, but bringing up an incident from so long ago is misguided. Ultimately, I blame the production team for this more than Lozada. In the scenes where she met with the private investigator, the music resembled the “Columbo” theme song, while the conversation made me think of Tyler Perry’s “Divorce in the Black.”

Worse, though, was Christie’s response to finding out that her dirt had been brought up. She dismissed Lozada as the “brokest one” before accusing her of engaging in beastiality.

“I heard from a little birdie that a certain individual — well, let me just say it, Evelyn,” Christie said. “She’s had some climactic moments with dogs, cats and anything of the like. Beastiality is her thing. Oops.”

Then, a few episodes later, they talked, and all was relatively forgiven, presumably for the sake of the show. As a contractor working to survive in this ecosystem, I get it. As a viewer, though, the swift, beef-ending scenes were kind of disorienting.

It’s not all bad, though.

This season, we have seen Lozada as a businessperson, as well as Jennifer Williams planning a wedding and privately hoping and praying that her newest man is not a scammer. (She also wants to produce movies, apparently.)

Bailey, still grieving the death of her daughter, is newly divorced and starting over.

Jac’Eil Duckworth, the newest cast member, has added a much-needed dynamic to the show as the wife of a WNBA player.

And they called back Brandi Maxiell, who originally appeared on the Los Angeles spinoff of the franchise. More recently, Laura Govan, also an original member of the LA spinoff, has reemerged with the ladies. They are trying.

Yet for all of that, this show is supposed to be about a group of women in which some are friends or, at the very least, have become friendly for the sake of the show.

Sure, it has some of that. But it’s mostly full of cast members who hate each other. So instead of doing group scenes that feel more natural, we mostly get them doing activities that don’t really connect to the show’s theme and often end horribly. This was the case in a recent episode, where a women’s empowerment event (of course) almost ended in a brawl that broke out in front of some state senators.

In essence, this show has the same problems that have plagued “The Real Housewives of New Jersey” and “The Real Housewives of Potomac.”

Now, I am not in control of the budget. But isn’t it time the network digs through its couches and finds enough money to bring old cast members back? Audiences want to see people who like each other and who are in the same place as some of the show’s present anchors — women that viewers of the show still remember.

There are rumors that “Basketball Wives LA” alum Gloria Govan will appear on the show. That’s a start, but let’s try to lure her back full time. (And while we’re at it, please call former cast member Malaysia Pargo, too.)

If I wanted to watch this frequency of brawling, I’d turn to “Baddies” on Zeus Network. Big fans of reality television don’t mind a few tossed bottles here and there on our unscripted shows. But at some point, these production teams need to better moderate the BS, put away the detectives and remember the original premise of the show.

“Basketball Wives” airs Mondays on VH1 at 8 p.m. ET.